Not everybody owns a large collection of Starbucks barrist-art cups.
I might be the only collector in the world.
Drinking a lot of coffee is a pre-requisite for a large collection.
note: Barrista artists are not barris-tarts.
double note: do they have Tsarbucks in Russia?
When I was 10, my parents took me to the hospital for an enema. The zoo would have been nicer.
The doctor and nurses had to subdue me while I was screaming:
“I have no bum! I have no bum!”
They did not believe me.
Doctors always have posterior motives.
note: I fear I may have become an enema combatant.
double note: for cleansing coffee enemas, I recommend a drip, no whip and an extra shot.
Some people in my neighborhood offer FREE advice!
What are they trying to accomplish?
Tomorrow I’ll sit next to them and offer free-er advice.
My more better free advice services will include more perfect and more unique advice for less than nothing.
note: I asked “the counselor” if I could take his picture and he took my request under advisement.
double note: advice and advisement are free but advisement takes a very long time.
triple note: this photograph is not from me.
I feel reason-ably ab-normal.
note: I generally fight abtraction with abstension.
double note: I think I abstan way too much.
note to planetross: consider yourself outcheesecaked… I always try to stay ahead of the six-pack.
note to Alan: Ha! Ha!
Posted in cheesewithanh
Tagged 6 pack, abs, abstention, comedy, humor, life, planetross, random thoughts, tanning, vacations, word play, work out
Tattoos are dumb.
10 years ago, my sister got a lion tattooed on her butt. Now it’s a Shar-Pei.
note: I’m very happy she did not have a Shar-Pei tattooed on her butt 10 years ago.
double note: I am a proud virgink. No tramp stamp on this chickie!
triple note: what do you call a woman with tattoos on both breasts? Tit-Tat-Two.
Posted in cheesewithanh
Tagged comedy, Fantasy Island, funny, humor, life, personal, random thought, stuff, tattoo, Thoughts, Villechaize
When I moved to Texas, I was told I could have vanity plates or personalized plates.
I picked personalized plates.
As a photographer, I asked if I could have my head on a plate.
The vehicle registration lady replied I already had too much on my plate.
note: Texas has the lowest vanity plate penetration… which is amazing considering all the vanity and all the… ah nevermind!
double note: click here for a translation of my personalized plate unless you work at the Department of Public Safety, in which case click here.
triple note: I like to take rail-road trips.
My friend Dorin is a cougar. She prey-dates a lot.
note: she may be a couga’ but she ain’t a cheeta’!
double note: Dorin likes to be in touch with her outer child.