Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Divas – (23/gazillion)

All I’ve ever wanted to know about transvestites, I learned from comedian and Executive Transvestite Eddie Izzard.

My biggest conception? I had always assumed transvestites were gay. Not necessarily so.

Izzard, while displaying a certain penis nonchalance, dates women.

I do not know if a woman who dates a transvestite is a lesbian. It is an interesting question. My guess is probably a failed lesbian.

Izzard makes a distinction between action transvestites (such as himself) and weirdo transvestites (i.e. Edgar J. Hoover)*

The above cross-dresser, whether action or weirdo, is noticeably losing her wig or goes to a very bad hairdresser.

It would be very difficult for a woman to be considered a cross-dresser. Donning a suit has now become so common for women that it must totally suck to be a drag king.

I think she is an executive transvestite. She was overtly flirting with me.

* The fact that Edgar J. Hoover was a cross-dresser is either “an urban legend” or “common knowledge” depending on where you look. Whatever he was and I do not care, this is a man who would have fitted really well in today’s U.S. politics of fear.

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Of Leather and Beads (21/gazillion)

My evil brother who sucks once conned me into visiting a leather bar in Brussels… He invited me for tea and scones (which I thought was incredibly sweet and sophisticated on his part – and unexpected if I may say), picked me up and drove me to a beautiful house in a posh neighborhood. Only inside did I realize that there would be no tea to be had on white linen tablecloths. I should have known better…

The Dallas Eagle bar seems to be one of these hopping places which devotes each night of the week to different activities or club parties. We apparently have quite a few leather clubs in Dallas.

The DISCIPLE Corps (at Dallas Eagle every 2nd Friday of the month) outlines rigid rules for party etiquette. You are not to touch someone else’s toys for example (unless asked to.) Also if you see something that appears unsafe, you can’t interrupt the “play”: you report your concerns to a Dungeon Master. The club is also just like Vegas and whatever happens there stays there.

The DFW Leather Boys organize educational workshops called TOOLS for da boys (or girls.) The young are tutored in the finer arts of leather care, shining boots (I think boot licking might be involved), spanking, flogging, medical play, anticipatory service, and wax play to name only a few. The medical workshop looks scary.

I think that’s cute! The big hunky guy in leather fretting over his tangled beads… Baaad Boy! He should be punished. Dungeon Master, over here please!

Hunky AND romantic… What more to ask for?

The seminar on leather care gave me pause. These guys would make their lives much easier if they replaced the leather with polyurethane. It almost looks like leather from a distance, is machine-washable and allows air to circulate through the fabric. It also saves cows.

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – My Boy Lollipop – (20/gazillion)

I know, I know… Not for me.

Way too young…

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Eclecti-City – (19/gazillion)

A pierced tongued witch and a pierced nosed lederhosen man. This is Dallas.

The wicked witch confused the Gay Pride Parade and the Halloween Parade. Why are all these people making evil gestures at me? I’m almost longing for the Japanese peace signs (I said almost.) The witch’s curves should make fellow blogger Razzbufnik happy.

Making out with this man? A dangerous venture! The horns protruding from his nostrils could totally poke an eye. You would need to wear protective goggles.

Dallas embraces cultural diversity.

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Duke Daisy – (18/gazillion)

My mother always told me: “If you adorn your head with a huge heart made of daisies, remember to act accordingly, very lady-like.” Well DUH!

The Duke Daisy is not only not lady-like BUT adding insult to injury, he is throwing the goat at me! Either that or he is a Texas Longhorns fan. Doubtful.

Oh yeah! Now acting all coy and demure. Nice try!

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Beachwear – (16/gazillion)

A strange trio. A tall skinny dude in a Speedo (and not the full-body Olympic kind), a young one in a mini-hula skirt and their identical older version.

I said “tall” but the soles on the boots may have had something to do with it.

The Speedo, the mini straw skirt, the lei, the feathers: all fine by me. But someone got confused on beach footwear. Anna Wintour would not approve.

The last of the shoe offenders. Mr. Miyagi!

These guys may have been a bit on the strange side but they were having a ball. The audience loved them! I keep wondering it this was a family outing. Some peeps go to Disney Land, some don’t. To each his own.

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Bears – (13/gazillion)

I called it the Village People float because all the guys looked like the construction worker but it turns out it was the Bears. Sounds like a scout troop but, er, not quite the case. The bears are in fact a gay sub-culture which consists mostly of hairy corpulent gay or bisexual males with a working class look. Please forgive all the gross generalizations.

A slew of expressions emerged from the bear community. A Panda Bear is Asian. A Pocket Bear is short. A Bear fag hag is a Goldilocks. An Otter is hairy but slimmer than the usual bear, etc.

The bears have their own code system for placing adds. For example: Bob Donahue, one of the co-author of the code is a: B5 c+ f s- w t- k or a full bearded definite cub, furry in a bearish sense, relationship oriented, with a little tummy, shorter than average, and open-minded bear. The code saves a lot of money to U.S. bears.

I believe this is a Dallas Polar Daddy bear holding the International Bear Brotherhood Flag.

Annually, the Dallas Bears host the Texas Bear Round-Up which attracts hundreds of bears. The code of conduct for the event includes a specific ban on public defecation (!) and public nudity (complete coverage of genitals and butt crack – jock straps do not qualify.) 😉

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Churches – (12/gazillion)

Religion and homosexuality. I’m so not going to take part in that little debate, but the number of churches participating in the parade was impressive (while not always phenomenally entertaining.)

The core values of the Cathedral of Hope are Compassion, Inclusion, Liberation, Hope and Faith in Jesus. That part is great but I was amused by the way Liberation is explained on their site: “We seek to challenge all oppression, particularly the oppression of queer people.” Queer? I was smacked on my fingers for using that adjective once.

A young congregationalist practicing waves and high fives

I am not sure whom Afro Man was representing. Dallas Nipple Pimps?

Afro Nipple Man conjures up images of Rooster in Baretta in more muscular, hairier, and nuder… or maybe it was Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch in more muscular, hairier, and nuder.

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Ladies – (11/gazillion)

The ladies. Why aren’t the ladies of the parade thin, delicate, and fragile looking? Most of them appear as if they could clean my clock with the mere gesture of a pinkie. Remember The Crying Game? Would Fergus have followed Dil in the bedroom had she exhibited comparable corpulence or muscle definition? I think not.

Bling-blinged but lethal nonetheless…

Even the little chick throwing the beads is fearing for her life

The man on the right is wearing the worst mullet wig ever! He must be straight. I don’t think any gay guy with a minimum of respect for himself would ever don such atrocity. No way.

Big Bird?

Dallas Gay Pride Parade – Round-Up – (10/gazillion)

Whenever I have guests in town, I always take them to the Round-Up Bar and Dance Hall (Flat Tony may make an appearance if he ever manages to venture out of the computer in cardboard fashion.) The Round-Up is a most excellent venue, full of hot cowboys dancing the two-step with one another.

The men holding the banner for the Round-Up wore khaki shorts and tennis shoes this year. I’m thinking about lodging a formal complaint.

My friend Doug used to take me to the Round-up all the time and we would dance together and I would destroy his feet. He moved to St. Louis where gay bars suck. I miss my Dougie Baby (that’s not Doug on the photograph)

Participating this year: Bichon in a stroller (or Maltese?)

This man represented the gay brother supported by family members which is great…

Except the little boy placed right next to him looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but on that float.

Sometimes, the show is in the audience too.

About that show in the audience, I would be glad to volunteer next year to screen the crowd, pick the ones I like and put them on the Audience Float. With what I’ve seen that day, it would be one HOT looking float: a real Chariot of Fire.