Tag Archives: eating crow

Arrrr, Me Hearty, Avast Ye!

“No patterns, no stripes.” These are my basic guidelines before a photo session. Mind you, after imparting these few words of wisdom to parents, I have seen a kid show up in a striped outfit with a huge pumpkin pattern on the front… but I was definitely not prepared for the one who showed up with the pirate outfit.

I had forgotten about red head Zane. Yesterday, PlanetRoss (who seems in dire need of a vacation to get over his vacation if I may say) left a comment about how much of a sucker he was for the “I was born on a pirate ship pose” and Zane came to mind.

A cute kid, that Zane. Red hair, tons of freckles, huge hazel eyes. A bit tentative. A bit shy.

I thought that the pattern on the tee-shirt would be a little distracting, but the kid was so photogenic that in the end, it worked out. Still, despite emptying my usual bag of tricks, it remained difficult to get him to act natural.

Then, shiver me timbers! Zane’s father dug out a pirate outfit from a bag. I think my eyes narrowed into wee Belgian slits and I probably contorted my mouth in an expression of “you have to be kidding me” but one look at the kid, and I promptly snapped back to my usual adorable self (I assure you I am quite sweet.)

Suddenly, someone acted like a kid again.

By the Powers! He could not be stopped.

The’e is no nay ne’er a way to replicate that kind of joy without a great grand swashbuckling outfit. In the end, I managed to sit him down two minutes for a portrait with his father and lass Lindsey, but even then, he stayed in character.

I have never believed in gimmicks. I feel that if you are going to display a family portrait next to the Ugly Yellow Plastic Cat on your mantle, the photograph will travel through time much better if faces are the only things that draw attention. It pains me greatly to say this but I was wrong. My hearties will tell you that even when I’m wrong, I’m usually still quite right… But in this case, I’m eatin’ a whole bag of crow.

The Model Curse

I am cursed. I have to be. There is something about photographing model portfolios that just does not quite agree with me. Yet I can assure you it gives me tremendous pleasure to shoot beautiful peeps and I enjoy the added bonus to be able to use all the vocabulary learned on Top Model and Project Runway. But seriously, every time a model comes through my front door, something goes awry.

B. was a gorgeous guy.

Model

As we went through the session, I had this great confidence that I was nailing it shot after shot. I could not wait to process all the images.

Male model

Yep. The session was fabulous. I came home, downloaded all the files and opened the first image in Photoshop. Nooooo. It couldn’t be. I opened a second and an third, and a middle one, and the last one. The guy’s fly was open the WHOLE time! I saved a couple of nice head shots. At least, no one can accuse me of impure thoughts!

When S. came through my door, I thought I would redeem myself.

Sam

The make-up artist had shown up half an hour early and caught me off guard with a head full of rollers (no, you are not getting a picture of that!) So things had not started as smoothly as expected, but I remained hopeful.

Model in Dallas

It was not until the make-up artist had finished his work that I knew that yet again I had been cursed. We headed to the studio to take a photograph of S. and make sure the make-up was fine when I smelled it first. Then I saw it. Right in the middle of the studio: a poop, courtesy of my Jack Russell. I blushed and mumbled and sent every one out. How embarrassing!

I’m fearful of what my next model shoot will bring. I’m trying not to envision all the possibilities.They are endless.